You Don’t Often Get the Dog You Want — You Get the Dog You Need

Written by Dawna Sims | PSR Stockdogs

For most of us, once we get a dog, they are our dog for life. They become our pet, our family member, our working partner, and often our teammate in competition.

Because of that, if the dog standing in front of us doesn’t match the picture we had in our mind of the “perfect” stockdog—or even the perfect dog to live with—simply rehoming them and getting another dog that better fits our expectations usually isn’t an option.

Instead, we learn.

The Picture We Carry Into Every New Dog

Every one of us has a picture in our head of what we want our next stockdog to be. More often than not, that picture is simply the opposite of the challenges we faced with our previous dog.

If your last dog wasn’t very biddable, you dream of one that hangs on every word you say.

If your last dog was hard, you want a softer dog.

If your last dog was too fast, you want one that gives you time to think.

If your last dog constantly pushed the stock, you want one that naturally settles them.

If your last dog wouldn’t grip when it was needed, you want one with plenty of bite.

The list goes on and on.

Of course, you study pedigrees. You watch the parents work. You ask questions, research bloodlines, and spend months searching for the “perfect” puppy.

But there are no guarantees.

Even with all the homework in the world, the puppy you bring home may not grow into the dog you imagined.

And that’s okay.

Every Strength Brings Its Own Challenge

Because the grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence.

The dog that bites confidently may also require tremendous skill to control that bite.

The dog that naturally settles stock may also struggle to walk into pressure when the livestock push back.

The slower dog you wanted may leave you wishing for a little more power.

The harder dog you admired may challenge your patience every single day.

It’s human nature to want what we don’t have. Yet once we finally have it, we often discover it isn’t quite what we imagined.

We Get the Dog We Need

That’s why I believe something important happens on this journey.

We don’t often get the dog we want.

We get the dog we need.

And somewhere along the way, we realize that the dog we needed becomes the dog we wanted all along.

The Dogs Who Challenge Us Make Us Better

The dogs that come into our lives expose our weaknesses, challenge our habits, and force us to become better trainers.

If every dog worked exactly the same, we’d never have to grow.

A dog that thinks differently than your last one forces you to develop new training techniques, better communication, and a deeper understanding of how dogs learn.

That growth makes you a better handler.

When a Dog Holds Up a Mirror

Sometimes the lesson goes even deeper.

If you’re someone who becomes frustrated or impatient, you may end up with a dog that demands patience.

Maybe it’s a hard dog that won’t be bullied.

Maybe it’s a soft dog that worries or shuts down the moment your emotions get the better of you.

Either way, that dog holds up a mirror.

Some people are naturally quiet and gentle, yet they’re given a powerful dog that requires confidence and clear leadership. To be successful, they have to become stronger.

Other people are naturally assertive and receive a sensitive dog that teaches them the value of softness, timing, and empathy.

Dogs have an incredible way of showing us not only their strengths and weaknesses—but our own.

Instead of seeing those differences as flaws in your dog, try seeing them as opportunities for your own growth.

Every dog that comes into our lives has something to teach us.

Sometimes those lessons are difficult. Sometimes they reveal parts of ourselves we’d rather not see.

But if we’re willing to stay open and receptive, those lessons can change us—not only as trainers, but as people.

Ask What Your Dog Can Teach You

The next time you head out to work your dog, instead of asking yourself, “What can I teach you today?”

Try asking a different question.

“What can you teach me today?”

“How am I growing because of this journey we’re taking together?”

Then, when you’re finished, give your dog a hug.

Because while we’re busy dreaming about the “perfect” dog we wish we had, our dogs aren’t thinking that way at all.

To them, we already are the perfect partner.

Shortcomings and all.

If the dog you have is teaching you more than you expected, PSR Membership gives you the full course library and the Real Talk conversations to keep learning together.

About Dawna Sims

Dawna Sims has more than 21 years of hands-on experience training dogs and handlers to work livestock and is the author of The Rules of the Hunt. She leads PSR Stockdogs with Megan Sims-Kennedy; together they were named 2025 AKC Herding Breeder of the Year.